and this

Develop an interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself. 

-Henry Miller

Take me with you!

I love this still from the new Miss Dior Cherie ads (directed by Sofia Coppola). Honestly, I wouldn't mind if some balloons carried me away today.

Un Flâneur

According to Baudelaire, a flâneur is "a person who walks the city in order to experience it." I love this concept. I think I have always been, at heart, un flâneur.

I love walking the streets of this city. When I first moved here and didn't know hardly anyone, I would spend every weekend wandering aimlessly, no destination in mind, taking in the sights, smells, sounds, and random encounters that make New York beautiful. Leaving the house around 11, sometimes not returning till 9 or 10 at night. I was homesick and confused and poor, and the only thing close to comfort was found in these long solitary walks.

Even now, I hate taking taxis. People think I'm crazy, but I'd much rather walk ten blocks in subzero temperatures than pay someone to drive me that very distance — even in uncomfortable shoes. It seems like such a waste, not only of money, but of experience. I'd hate to miss out on something horrifying or beautiful or, perhaps, a bit of both.

one sweet B

Today is this lady's birthday.

Happy Birthday!

My Girl Crush

I'm very excited for the film 500 Days of Summer—and not because it features the dude from Ten Things I Hate About You (completely underrated film). The truth is, I am sorta head over heels for Zooey Deschanel. Her little vintage dresses and bangs and tap dancing never fail to put a smile on my face. Sure, you can write her off as just another hipster celebrity, but in my opinion, she's a ukelele-playing, red lipstick-wearing hottie whose quirkiness seems completely for real.

I also get all dreamy when I hear her singing. She & Him Vol. 1 is one of my favorite albums of 2008. Not to mention her version of "Baby It's Cold Outside" from Elf. Damn!

Zooey, in all your perfectness, this post is for you!

 

Dropping some heart science

I haven't posted here in a very long while. A lot of things have been going on inside my head lately; maybe it has something to do with turning thirty soon. I don't know. Anyway, this is an excerpt from an email I just sent someone.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I put on Sigur Ros, the record with the symbols { }, and it was so beautiful, and I started thinking about what you said the other night, that love is the only thing we have.

For the past few years I've tried to force myself to stop believing in love. It seemed like this eternal paradox whose sole purpose was to torture us humans wriggling round Earth. I didn't understand if love was supposed to be something wild and crazy that completely consumes you, or something calm and sort of comforting and mundane. I knew I had loved and been in love, but at the same time I still felt completely lost, like this fundamental human connection was baffling to me and only me.

I remember struggling with these issues last year when I was ending my relationship. At one point, being in my bed and just praying to I don't know who or whom, for someone to tell me what to do, to give me some sort of answer. Praying, for me, is an odd thing. I haven't felt any meaningful connection with God for so long that it was a sort of symbolic throwing in of the towel, if you will. A last-ditch effort. And that night I had a dream, and in that dream I was on a train with E. I turned to him and said, "What is real love supposed to feel like?" And he smiled and said, "You know already. It feels like this." Then he touched me and I was immediately filled with the most wonderful, calm, peaceful feeling . . . like a warmth or sort of light radiating through me. I can't even describe it. But I knew it. I knew that was love. And I woke up.

So anyway, last night, struggling under the weight of Tylenol PM, I remembered that. Sometimes I think the point of all this mess is to keep fighting to uncover love no matter how many times you are stung. In all its forms. Is that what E.M. Forster meant with "Only connect"?

I have no idea what I'm writing all of this to you, but I just felt like it. Someday I will stop communicating in fragments.

One day away

I do love leaving here. We got outta town on Thursday to visit our friends Susan and her Boo John who were visiting their friend in San Diego. Got all that? It gets more complicated because we sat by the beach, went to Whole Foods, and then made sushi. 

Suze and John

This occupied us for at least an hour

Sushi is made like this......
Yes. We have the same sunglasses.

We had a great day!